matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
