She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
They took my balls.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
