I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
