your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
