I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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