btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
