ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
