i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
