i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize