people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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