It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
