I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize