the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize