people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do vagina's smell?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
