I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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