Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
