Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy