I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
