why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
