beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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