gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize