I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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