My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
