Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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