just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
