i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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