Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
