yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
