thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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