My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
