Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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