Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
