the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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