You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
