break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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