Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
