So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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