Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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