I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
