we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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