last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
