awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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