Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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