is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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