is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
