ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
