It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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