i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
