dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
