i think i have herpe
just one?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
