The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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