i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize