i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
