you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
