i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
