i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
