Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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