atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
