do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize