is your mom at the bar?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
