what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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