He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
