I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
