I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
