JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
