i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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