Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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